Someone asked me “How will you deal with temptation?” The answer…hmmm…lots of ways probably.  Pray. Resolve. God. Knowing that its for a higher purpose. Go to bed early.  Eat lots of fruit.  It’s a different feeling than a diet–a different level of commitment.  A different person I’ve committed to, so the temptation is easier to handle.

I know that I want a breakthrough and if I continue to sacrifice the immediate desire for food, I will get the longer lasting, farther reaching benefits that God has to offer me.

The bonus is that it happens to be really healthy for my body too.  Other than eating about 1/2 the protein I normally would, I’m eating nothing BUT healthy. and maybe a little TOO much fiber.

But again, you crave what you consume. This concept applies to much more than just food, although it certainly applies to food.  The more of God I consume, the more I crave.  The more time in God’s word, the more I realize it really is better than life. Psalm 63:3

I was laying in bed trying to sleep (on my back) and I started wondering about change.  You see, I was a Stomach Sleeper and a few years ago I realized that sleeping on my stomach was BAD.   Someone told me.  It gives you wrinkles on your face.   Flattens your breasts.   Hurts your back.   Whatever, I heard lots of stories, lots of reasons.   My chiropractor confirmed it.   So, I decided to change.   I would become a Back Sleeper.  I just made up my mind and that was that.  Right?  Ha.

Turns out, it’s very very hard to change the way you sleep.  I would toss and turn, and flip and turn, until I finally went to sleep on my back.  and then I would wake up on my stomach…with a lower back ache.   Finally, after months and months, I finally got used to it and proudly called myself a Back Sleeper!  That is until about a week ago.  Once again, I find myself turning and flipping again….fighting the back sleeping, waking up with a sore lower back.

I know, this seems all very mundane…not the tragic tale I think it is when I’m struggling to sleep in the middle of the night–fighting the urge to flip over.  But, it’s made me think about change.  Am I a Stomach Sleeper who sleeps on my back?  or can I one day call myself a Back Sleeper?

It’s been a long time since I’ve written a blog post.   So can I be a regular blogger, and then just stop? If I only write things occasionally, am I not a regular blogger?  That’s not who I am anymore?  I used to be angry a lot.  Angry.  Now it takes a lot to get me angry.  Oh sure, I still get mad sometimes, but that’s not who I am anymore.

I know 2 Corinthians 5:17 says that once we go from depending on ourselves, to depending on Christ, we become a new creation or a new person.  At this hour of the night, I’m really not sure what that has to do with how I sleep…

You see, this is why I don’t write much anymore…I have thoughts, but no way to wrap them up neatly.  So, I’m going back to bed now…to sleep on my back….peacefully.   I suppose it would be a good idea to depend on Christ to help me with that.

Night.

This year started with a 21 day fast , go here for a summary of how that went.  Turns out that was a really good way to start a year out.    No doubt, I’ll be doing that again in 2011. (I’m actually 16 days into it right now!)

• Sold fireworks for the 4th of July in Louisiana (great time with family and precious friends!)
• went to the beach in Florida for a fantastic family vacation (paid cash)
• paid off a car (that’s the last time we’ll ever NOT pay cash for a car–car pymts suck!)
• my firstborn started driving–this is exciting, nerve-racking, and time-saving all at the same time
• bought a car with cash for the first time ever (well, we matched Cory’s contribution and he bought a car with cash)
• ran my first 5K.  and my 2nd. and my 3rd. and my 4th.  I’m officially addicted to running now.
• started learning how to play the guitar–something I always wanted to do, and now I can
• lost a beloved member of our family, Lucky dog
• got 2 new puppies–it remains to be seen if this was a positive or negative move.  on the one hand, we’re missing Lucky less, on the other, training starts all over and lasts longer than I care to think about
• started a new job–same place, new position

It was a busy and productive year and I’m already making goals for 2011.  Blogging more is one goal.  jeesh, last year was pitiful in the blogging department.  How else am I supposed to keep track of what I do?!?

Other goals:

Get my own guitar–Cory’s generously loaning me one of his right now

Learn how to make movies in iMovie–I’ve started this, but my first one was incredibly lame

My marriage is going to be the best it’s been in 20 years!

This is why I’m conflicted. I can’t find a happy medium.  It’s all or nothing.  I asked God to help me temper my response to what He is showing me.  Really?   Really?  He was not amused by that request.

What I meant was to help me NOT be a wet blanket to those around me.  Can I do this Christmas with love, joy, encouragement and still be less focused on the materialism of the thing?

OH YES I CAN.  In fact, I’ve realized that if I focus more on what I’m for, instead of what I’m against, then my joy is revealed.  Yep.  Have I ever mentioned that I’m a slow learner?  Duh.

I think if I spent less time thinking, life would be simpler.  Nevertheless….

Now I just have to figure out exactly what I am for.  What I do know, is that this year there will be more Christmas music.  More holiday baking.  More decorations, lights, Christmas movies.  Still not more shopping, but more time enjoying the traditions that involve family, friends, and Jesus.

After Christmas last year, Cameron said “It just didn’t feel like Christmas”.    My bad.

This year I’m reading the Rediscovering Christmas reading plan on YouVersion (actually I’m reading it on my mobile device)  It includes reflection questions and action steps to center each day on Christ.  Which is awesome.

So what are you expecting from this season?  What are you preparing for?  The very first Christmas changed EVERYTHING.  Why does this Christmas have to be any different?    That’s what I’m expecting.

AND I watched the Advent Conspiracy video. Here is one of them (there are a few).  Be careful, it’ll mess you up.

News can be true, based on truth and mostly true, or just false.  I think that’s why I choose to avoid news programs…because news can be twisted or manipulated to fit into a story or slant, and I just don’t know what to believe.   I’m not typically a skeptical person, either…so I don’t know where this comes from.   I feel the same way about history—it’s told by PEOPLE who are PEOPLE–with flaws and biases.    Can we ever hear news or history in it’s truest form, or is it always an interpretation by the teller?   I always tell my kids to consider that when they are reading and studying history in school…I’m sure their teachers would love that idea.

Anyway…I was thinking about all of the recent natural disasters and tragedies and depravity that so many say point to the fact that we are living in the “end times”.   Is it really worse than it’s ever been?  Or do we just hear about it and SEE pictures and video of disaster in a more dramatic way than ever before?   I hear stories about the “perverse” things that man is doing today (2 Tim 3 describes what people will be like in the “last days”) and think back to bible stories in the Old and New Testament  of what people were like thousands of years ago.    In Genesis, God wiped out everyone but Noah and his family because the people had become so corrupt.  and then what about the Romans that Paul was talking about in Romans 1:18-32?  Are we really that much worse NOW?

Honestly, I don’t know the answers.  Either way, I’m ready. If Christ comes back today, I’m ready.  If He tarries, I’m ready to continue worshiping Him alone and encouraging others into a deeper, authentic relationship with God.   Whatever it takes.

What do you think?  Are we living in the end times the bible talks about?  Do you think about it?  Does it affect the way you live today?

…and then there’s Issac. He obviously trusts his dad and was no doubt brought up to trust his God, but at the point where he is tied up and laid on the pile of wood, you would think he would have to be having his doubts. I can’t help but imagine crying, maybe screaming, perhaps a hint of panic in his eyes. (likely more than a hint!)
But if you know the story, it all works out in the end. God calls it off and provides a ram for sacrifice instead. He tells Abe that because of his faith, his descendants will be like the stars.  My question is “what if he had not obeyed”? what if he had said “No God, what you ask is too much. Remember the circumstance of Issacs birth? It’s too much. too hard.”
What has God asked you to do that you think is too hard? or too much?  What blessings might you be missing out on??  Decide today to obey…sacrificially if necessary.

This one is the New Living Translation.

Then he said to the woman,
“I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy,
and in pain you will give birth.
And you will desire to control your husband,
but he will rule over you.”

This one is the King James Version.

“Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.”

In the first it says that woman will desire to control her husband and in the next it says woman’s desire will be for her husband.  Two VERY different concepts.  Initially, I was like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m so bossy”.  and then after I read the other translations I was just confused.  Did part of the punishment include making woman only attracted to her husband??  Cuz that does NOT seem the case in the world today.

Thoughts?  Explanations?  Clarifications?

Good thing I don’t get too hung up on little things like this.  I more than realize that I’m not smart enough to understand EVERYTHING in the bible.  By faith, I believe that it’s completely true, whether I understand it or not.

I’m trying to imagine what someone who doesn’t know me would think if they stumbled upon my blog posts.  or, for that matter, people who know me.

Anyway, it sounds really cool.  The Essential 100. {said in an announcer-type voice}–  Sort of like a daily vitamin.

And I like the idea of getting the big picture that this reading plan promises.  I’m a big picture kinda girl.  I’m always wanting to “zoom out” of a situation to put things into perspective.  It helps me deal.

Try it here.

In addition, since it was just Easter a week ago, we watched the Passion of the Christ movie together.  The youngest of us opted out, but me, Kev, and Cory watched it.  That was only my 2nd time to ever see the movie and it was as hard to watch as I remembered it being.

I feel like I finally got an answer to a question that I’ve had for a long time though.  I’ve always wondered why Jesus’ death had to be so awful.  so cruel. so painful. so humiliating. I don’t ever question why he had to die…I understand the sacrificial lamb–being killed to atone for sin.  But, why the beating?  Why the torture?  You never heard about people in the Old Testament beating the animals before they killed them to be a sacrifice.  They just killed them…clean and simple.

And then it occurred to me…He took on the sins of the world.  ALL the sins of the ENTIRE world. What did I expect that to look like?  Should it have been easy?    I don’t know for sure if this is really THE answer to this question, but right now it makes sense to me.  Of course taking on the sin of the world would be ugly. painful. brutal.  ruthless.

Can you believe that he loved you that much?  He wanted you to be reconciled with God so much, that He was willing to go through that torture.  Can you imagine doing that for someone else?  Do we humans have the capacity to love with that kind of love?

Thanks, Jesus.  Thank you for saving me before I even deserved saving.